Q: "My bf and I just broke up, but he keeps calling me - and we still hook up. I feel like he wants to get back together with me, but when I suggest it, he says 'he needs time to figure it out' 24, Phoenix AZ
A. During a break-up, usually one person doesn’t want the relationship to end, and I think this be you this time my love. You're vulnerable and because of that are more inclined to believe your ex's motivations are out of love, but it just might be comfort or loneliness.
You're ex is hovering around because it's easy...and cause you're letting him, and cause he's a dude and just wants to get laid.
Don't let yourself misinterpret his flirtatious, selfish actions as wanting you back. I know it might feel good to think the break-up was just a bad dream, but he's taking advantage of you, and you happen to be allowing it. I'm sure somewhere deep inside he's conflicted about whether he can do better than you, but you’re no Plan B baby. Plan B’s don’t get rings.
Take the blinders off and look at your situation. No emotion. All facts. Even if it’s hard to swallow. No one breaks up because they just love each other so damn much. They break up because the relationship had run its course. No man breaks-up with the woman they love with the stupid intention of dating her again in the near future. Don’t allow yourself to be the back-up girl in case his jaunt into the real world doesn’t workout. You must define your boundaries and allow the break-up to happen once and for all. AND NO SLEEPING TOGETHER. PERIOD.
Make a clean break now and HEY! If he’s the one for you, you'll cross paths again in the future. But for now, spend more time looking for your Mr. Right and less time fretting over this guy. (I’m sure your future husband wouldn't appreciate that).