Q: I like to pride myself as someone who would NEVER online date, but secretly recently just started and met someone I REALLY like. We've been dating for 3 months and he's meeting my friends for the first time this weekend - should we tell them how we really met? Or make up a fairy tale romance? - Michelle, Los Angeles
Q: My friend is so much fun and goes partying every night. I love going out too, but sometimes she pressures me into going out when I have other things I want/need to do, and lately she has been getting pissed at me because I haven’t been able to hit the bars as much. How do I tell her I can’t go out all the time, without upsetting her?
Q: One of my best friends from my childhood has started going down the wrong path. She used to be such a good girl and have her head on her shoulder and now she is starting to hang out with the wrong people and do drugs. It’s really changing her personality and I feel like our friendship is fading away because of it. I haven’t said anything to her yet because I just don’t know what to do… How should I let her know it’s bothering me and affecting our friendship?
Unfortunately at some point, most girls come into contact with drugs. It’s how you deal with it that matters. Your friend was one of those that has fallen into the trap of drugs and probably doesn’t realize what it’s doing to your friendship but most importantly herself. The best thing you can do is have a girls night and bring it up to her in a nice way. Definitely don’t be aggressive about it or accuse her of anything up front.
My boyfriend of 8 months came clean today that he cheated on me. I have no clue what to do, help! (20 - Female)
I'm sorry babe; this is really shitty. I know today your world feels turned upside down right now, but at the risk of sounding dismissive or clique - I promise it's going to get better. But before it can, you need to break-up with that cheating loser.
You should tell him it’s stupid that he still talks to his ex. Then you should find her and tell her to knock that shit off - 28, Savannah GA
Ok, for those who are a little less…um…assertive (lol)? Let’s try this…
He shouldn’t talk to his ex. You know that, he knows that, we all know that. This worldy crap that exes can be friends is nonsense. In case you weren’t sure let me be suppppperr clear – EXES CAN’T BE FRIENDS. UGH, it’s an idea dreamed up by people that are still hung up on their exes.
So it’s super simple. Don’t over think it my love, just tell him straight – “I don’t like you talking to your ex. It hurts my feelings and makes me feel insecure”. Unless he’s a total jerk, he’ll understand where you’re coming from. AND if he doesn’t, then screw ‘em – he’s not someone you want to date.
People only talk to their exes if they have something they want to say to them that they can’t say to you. Why your boyfriend needs to say something to another woman instead of you I’ll never understand.
It’s like a super simple premise – if he chooses talking to his ex over your feelings and wishes, then you shouldn’t date him. EVEN if he really, really, really wants to talk to his ex cause she’s like a saint or something – he SHOULDN’T if it bothers you.
The past is the past for a reason.
Q: I've been dating this guy for a few months, and it's so over. He doesn't really treat me well. We're supposed to met up this week to talk about it, but I just want to be done with it. Do I have to break up with him in person? It's not immature to end it over the phone, right?
A: No, it's not immature. The way you break-up with someone depends on how important you were to each other's lives. However, if he doesn't treat you well, then all bets are off anyways. You can break-up with him any damn way you want.
The days of needing to break up face to face are long gone. Sure, breaking up via text could be a little heartless (maybe), but breaking up over the phone is damn right courteous nowadays. And, if you've only been dating a few months I would venture to guess it wasn't even that serious (even if you think it was now).
Q: I started dating this guy that I met through a mutual friend. He’s smart, caring, motivated, genuine and an all around amazing guy. The only down side is that he’s not that attractive compared to other guys I’ve dated in the past. I’m 25 and feel like I need to start settling down. What should I do… move on or keep dating him?
A: Sounds like you have a great guy on your hands. As you start getting old, you’re going to come across these guys even more. It’s different that being 18-23 where you’re young, having fun and you want to date the hottest guy to show off to all of your friends. Most of the time the hottest guys aren’t always the greatest guys and all they have working for them is their looks. And guess what, as you get older, looks fade!
"My bf and I just broke up, but he keeps calling me - and we still hook up. I feel like he wants to get back together with me, but when I suggest it, he says 'he needs time' I have no idea what to think"
During a break-up, usually one person doesn’t want the relationship to end, and I think this be you this time my love. You're vulnerable and because of that are more inclined to believe your ex's motivations are out of love, but it just might be comfort or loneliness.
Guest Contributor: Michelle Kirchner @GIRRLSCOUT
Q: I have one really really high maintenance friend. She just is so demanding and I'm just not sure I can deal with her anymore! She wants to hang out all the time, and gets mad if I don't make plans with her. If I don't call her back she freaks, if we're texting she calls me and gets mad when I don't answer. How do I tell her I need her to chill or I can't be friends with her anymore?
A: Me, I would tell her straight up, just like that. “You need to chill out or I can’t do this anymore.” I can’t stand friends like that, people up your ass. I dated somebody that was like that although to the tenth degree, overly attached and controlling - it’s the worst feeling. A friend should never make you feel guilty for having a life and OTHER friends. I would encourage her/him to hangout with their other friends and fill their time with other hobbies. Take a break. This doesn’t mean the whole friendship goes down the drain but 'holy shit something needs to change.' Some people don’t learn lessons until someone spells it out for them, it’s not a bad thing, it’s just a higher risk. You can't control other people, you can only control yourself and hope for the best. :)