Q: I’m dating an amazing new boyfriend, but I just can’t let go of old feelings I have for my ex, and can’t help talking (ok, flirting) with him.
Q: I’ve been with my BF for about six months, and he still talks to his ex from time to time. I think it’s annoying, but he’s like “we’re just friends.” I’m not trying to seem crazy, but I really hate it - is it me? ~ 24, San Diego
A: The amount of time they spend talking matters. If it’s once in a blue moon, and the girl had no real significance in his life, then he’s probably just being a nice guy. Can’t fault him for that. Though, that chick needs to back off, and the conversations shouldn’t be prolonged.
You should tell him it’s stupid that he still talks to his ex. Then you should find her and tell her to knock that shit off - 28, Savannah GA
Ok, for those who are a little less…um…assertive (lol)? Let’s try this…
He shouldn’t talk to his ex. You know that, he knows that, we all know that. This worldy crap that exes can be friends is nonsense. In case you weren’t sure let me be suppppperr clear – EXES CAN’T BE FRIENDS. UGH, it’s an idea dreamed up by people that are still hung up on their exes.
So it’s super simple. Don’t over think it my love, just tell him straight – “I don’t like you talking to your ex. It hurts my feelings and makes me feel insecure”. Unless he’s a total jerk, he’ll understand where you’re coming from. AND if he doesn’t, then screw ‘em – he’s not someone you want to date.
People only talk to their exes if they have something they want to say to them that they can’t say to you. Why your boyfriend needs to say something to another woman instead of you I’ll never understand.
It’s like a super simple premise – if he chooses talking to his ex over your feelings and wishes, then you shouldn’t date him. EVEN if he really, really, really wants to talk to his ex cause she’s like a saint or something – he SHOULDN’T if it bothers you.
The past is the past for a reason.