Note To You Little Sister

dating

Q: Should I Lie About How I Met My BF Online?

Dating, Love + DatingJen

Q: I like to pride myself as someone who would NEVER online date, but secretly recently just started and met someone I REALLY like. We've been dating for 3 months and he's meeting my friends for the first time this weekend - should we tell them how we really met? Or make up a fairy tale romance? - Michelle, Los Angeles

Q: OK for my Boyfriend to talk to his ex still?

Love + DatingJen

Q: I’ve been with my BF for about six months, and he still talks to his ex from time to time. I think it’s annoying, but he’s like “we’re just friends.” I’m not trying to seem crazy, but I really hate it - is it me? ~ 24, San Diego

A: The amount of time they spend talking matters. If it’s once in a blue moon, and the girl had no real significance in his life, then he’s probably just being a nice guy. Can’t fault him for that. Though, that chick needs to back off, and the conversations shouldn’t be prolonged.

Q: My boyfriend is a cheater. Am I crazy to date him still?

Cheating, Relationships, Dating, Love + DatingJen

Q: My boyfriend has cheated on ALL his exes. My friends think I’m insane for dating him and should leave him, but I sort of think it’s out of his system. Is the whole once a cheater always a cheater thing real or could he be reformed?

A: That whole “once a cheater always a cheater” has it’s truths but people do change, that’s also true. At that point, the decision is up to you. Taking a risk (that’s high) at getting your heart broken or moving on in hopes you’ll stumble across something better and something more stable.

Q: My boyfriend came clean he cheated on me. I have no clue what to do, help!

Dating, Cheating, Relationships, Love + DatingJen

My boyfriend of 8 months came clean today that he cheated on me. I have no clue what to do, help! (20 - Female)

I'm sorry babe; this is really shitty. I know today your world feels turned upside down right now, but at the risk of sounding dismissive or clique - I promise it's going to get better. But before it can,  you need to break-up with that cheating loser.

Q: My boyfriend still talks to his ex. I hate it, but he’s like “we’re just friends” – what should I do?

Dating, Love + DatingJen

You should tell him it’s stupid that he still talks to his ex.  Then you should find her and tell her to knock that shit off - 28, Savannah GA

Ok, for those who are a little less…um…assertive (lol)? Let’s try this…

He shouldn’t talk to his ex. You know that, he knows that, we all know that. This worldy crap that exes can be friends is nonsense. In case you weren’t sure let me be suppppperr clear – EXES CAN’T BE FRIENDS. UGH, it’s an idea dreamed up by people that are still hung up on their exes.

So it’s super simple. Don’t over think it my love, just tell him straight – “I don’t like you talking to your ex. It hurts my feelings and makes me feel insecure”.  Unless he’s a total jerk, he’ll understand where you’re coming from. AND if he doesn’t, then screw ‘em – he’s not someone you want to date.

People only talk to their exes if they have something they want to say to them that they can’t say to you. Why your boyfriend needs to say something to another woman instead of you I’ll never understand.

It’s like a super simple premise – if he chooses talking to his ex over your feelings and wishes, then you shouldn’t date him. EVEN if he really, really, really wants to talk to his ex cause she’s like a saint or something – he SHOULDN’T if it bothers you.

The past is the past for a reason.

♥ J

Q: Do I have to break up with him in person? It's not immature to end it over the phone, right?

Dating, Love + DatingJen

Q: I've been dating this guy for a few months, and it's so over. He doesn't really treat me well. We're supposed to met up this week to talk about it, but I just want to be done with it.  Do I have to break up with him in person? It's not immature to end it over the phone, right?

A: No, it's not immature. The way you break-up with someone depends on how important you were to each other's lives. However, if he doesn't treat you well, then all bets are off anyways. You can break-up with him any damn way you want.

The days of needing to break up face to face are long gone. Sure, breaking up via text could be a little heartless (maybe), but breaking up over the phone is damn right courteous nowadays. And, if you've only been dating a few months I would venture to guess it wasn't even that serious (even if you think it was now).

Q: Am I settling with the ugly guy?

Dating, Love + DatingJen

Q: I started dating this guy that I met through a mutual friend. He’s smart, caring, motivated, genuine and an all around amazing guy. The only down side is that he’s not that attractive compared to other guys I’ve dated in the past. I’m 25 and feel like I need to start settling down. What should I do… move on or keep dating him?

A: Sounds like you have a great guy on your hands. As you start getting old, you’re going to come across these guys even more. It’s different that being 18-23 where you’re young, having fun and you want to date the hottest guy to show off to all of your friends. Most of the time the hottest guys aren’t always the greatest guys and all they have working for them is their looks. And guess what, as you get older, looks fade!

Q: "My bf and I just broke up, but he keeps calling me - and we still hook up

Dating, Love + DatingJen

"My bf and I just broke up, but he keeps calling me - and we still hook up. I feel like he wants to get back together with me, but when I suggest it, he says 'he needs time' I have no idea what to think"

During a break-up, usually one person doesn’t want the relationship to end, and I think this be you this time my love. You're vulnerable and because of that are more inclined to believe your ex's motivations are out of love, but it just might be comfort or loneliness.

Q: Am I Crazy to Date a Mama's Boy

Dating, Love + DatingJen

I'm dating this guy who I thought was pretty much perfect - except for the fact that he's a massive mama's boy. His mom is always in our business, and is crazy and manipulative. No one will ever be good enough for her little boy. I can't deal with it anymore. Any last ditch advice before I kick his ass to the curb? 

A. There is something truly creepy about a mama's boy. Like. Truly creepy. Besides conjuring up some weird oedipus complex reference, there is also the blatant truth that no woman wants to (or should) play second fiddle to some dude's crazy overbearing mom. But before you send him on his way, make sure you're not confusing a mama's boy for just someone who is nice to his mom. A man who treats his mother with kindness and respect is something to be appreciated and typically it's a good sign of how he'll treat you. But, like most things with men, there is a fine line between normal & creepy.  

Change the Scenario, Baby.

Dating, Love + DatingJen

The Short Story: If you constantly find yourself in bad relationships, it's time to change how you're doing things.

Stop whining about not finding a great guy when all you do is date jerks and losers. If you like him because he's mean to you, there's a problem. A rather significant one at that.

Relationship Purgatory: "Why Won't He Commit?"

Dating, Relationships, Single LifeJenComment

Q: I've been dating the same guy for the past three months. It feels like we're in a committed relationship, but haven't made it "official" yet with titles. Anytime I try to bring the subject up he either jokes it off or changes the topic.  I feel like I'm in freaking high school asking him to be boyfriend/girlfriend, but I don't want to waste my time with someone who's not going to commit. PLEASE HELP ME!! What's his problem? Or am I rushing into this?