Note To You Little Sister

Dating

Q: Should I Lie About How I Met My BF Online?

Dating, Love + DatingJen

Q: I like to pride myself as someone who would NEVER online date, but secretly recently just started and met someone I REALLY like. We've been dating for 3 months and he's meeting my friends for the first time this weekend - should we tell them how we really met? Or make up a fairy tale romance? - Michelle, Los Angeles

Q: My boyfriend is a cheater. Am I crazy to date him still?

Cheating, Relationships, Dating, Love + DatingJen

Q: My boyfriend has cheated on ALL his exes. My friends think I’m insane for dating him and should leave him, but I sort of think it’s out of his system. Is the whole once a cheater always a cheater thing real or could he be reformed?

A: That whole “once a cheater always a cheater” has it’s truths but people do change, that’s also true. At that point, the decision is up to you. Taking a risk (that’s high) at getting your heart broken or moving on in hopes you’ll stumble across something better and something more stable.

Q: My boyfriend came clean he cheated on me. I have no clue what to do, help!

Dating, Cheating, Relationships, Love + DatingJen

My boyfriend of 8 months came clean today that he cheated on me. I have no clue what to do, help! (20 - Female)

I'm sorry babe; this is really shitty. I know today your world feels turned upside down right now, but at the risk of sounding dismissive or clique - I promise it's going to get better. But before it can,  you need to break-up with that cheating loser.

Q: My boyfriend still talks to his ex. I hate it, but he’s like “we’re just friends” – what should I do?

Dating, Love + DatingJen

You should tell him it’s stupid that he still talks to his ex.  Then you should find her and tell her to knock that shit off - 28, Savannah GA

Ok, for those who are a little less…um…assertive (lol)? Let’s try this…

He shouldn’t talk to his ex. You know that, he knows that, we all know that. This worldy crap that exes can be friends is nonsense. In case you weren’t sure let me be suppppperr clear – EXES CAN’T BE FRIENDS. UGH, it’s an idea dreamed up by people that are still hung up on their exes.

So it’s super simple. Don’t over think it my love, just tell him straight – “I don’t like you talking to your ex. It hurts my feelings and makes me feel insecure”.  Unless he’s a total jerk, he’ll understand where you’re coming from. AND if he doesn’t, then screw ‘em – he’s not someone you want to date.

People only talk to their exes if they have something they want to say to them that they can’t say to you. Why your boyfriend needs to say something to another woman instead of you I’ll never understand.

It’s like a super simple premise – if he chooses talking to his ex over your feelings and wishes, then you shouldn’t date him. EVEN if he really, really, really wants to talk to his ex cause she’s like a saint or something – he SHOULDN’T if it bothers you.

The past is the past for a reason.

♥ J

Q: Do I have to break up with him in person? It's not immature to end it over the phone, right?

Dating, Love + DatingJen

Q: I've been dating this guy for a few months, and it's so over. He doesn't really treat me well. We're supposed to met up this week to talk about it, but I just want to be done with it.  Do I have to break up with him in person? It's not immature to end it over the phone, right?

A: No, it's not immature. The way you break-up with someone depends on how important you were to each other's lives. However, if he doesn't treat you well, then all bets are off anyways. You can break-up with him any damn way you want.

The days of needing to break up face to face are long gone. Sure, breaking up via text could be a little heartless (maybe), but breaking up over the phone is damn right courteous nowadays. And, if you've only been dating a few months I would venture to guess it wasn't even that serious (even if you think it was now).

Q: Am I settling with the ugly guy?

Dating, Love + DatingJen

Q: I started dating this guy that I met through a mutual friend. He’s smart, caring, motivated, genuine and an all around amazing guy. The only down side is that he’s not that attractive compared to other guys I’ve dated in the past. I’m 25 and feel like I need to start settling down. What should I do… move on or keep dating him?

A: Sounds like you have a great guy on your hands. As you start getting old, you’re going to come across these guys even more. It’s different that being 18-23 where you’re young, having fun and you want to date the hottest guy to show off to all of your friends. Most of the time the hottest guys aren’t always the greatest guys and all they have working for them is their looks. And guess what, as you get older, looks fade!

Q: "My bf and I just broke up, but he keeps calling me - and we still hook up

Dating, Love + DatingJen

"My bf and I just broke up, but he keeps calling me - and we still hook up. I feel like he wants to get back together with me, but when I suggest it, he says 'he needs time' I have no idea what to think"

During a break-up, usually one person doesn’t want the relationship to end, and I think this be you this time my love. You're vulnerable and because of that are more inclined to believe your ex's motivations are out of love, but it just might be comfort or loneliness.

Q: I'm meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time on Thanksgiving, but I'm super nervous. Any tips for not screwing this up?

DatingJen

25, Austin Texas

A:
Meeting your boyfriend's family for the first time is a BIG DEAL. Meeting your boyfriend's family for the first time on Thanksgiving can make or break a BIG DEAL! All kidding aside, first impressions are everything and as stressful as the holidays already are, here are a few rules to follow so your first family encounter paves a yellow brick road to many, many more:

Be yourself:  You are the only you, and that's the only person you need to be. Be the girl your boyfriend fell for in the first place, and you can never go wrong. Engage in conversations with each family member, and get to know them. If you have something in common, even better! If you can't find a common ground, there is one love you do share: your boo, so talking about him can always break the ice.  The fact that you are even there and making an effort should be a positive sign that your heart is in it, and not one person will have a problem with that.

Lend a helping hand: Before the big day, ask if you can contribute to the meal by bringing a side dish or dessert. This gesture is a great way of showing that you are thoughtful, and are planning ahead. When you arrive to dinner on Thanksgiving Day, offer to help set the table, or help with any last minute meal prepping. The answer most likely will be "No", but it's always the thought that counts. When dinner is over, offer to help clean up, and load the dishwasher. If you are a guest, it is common etiquette to offer to at least tidy things up so that you're not perceived to be lazy or undomesticated. After all, you do want to be invited over for a 2nd meal right?

Mind your manners: Let's go back to the rules that we learned in Kindergarten. Say please and thank you, always. Don't forget to put your napkin on your lap, and chew with your mouth closed no matter how hungry you are, or how delicious (or not) the food is. Lastly, IG, Twitter, and FB will all still be there post dinner, so giving the family your undivided attention for an hour or so will not only help you get to know them better, but show that you respect your time with them. Note: it is acceptable if you want to take a quick family pic, or food pic, or boyfriend selfie to post AFTER dinner.   

Dress your best: You can never be too overdressed, but there are two occasions where it’s best to TID (tone it down – you’ll be seeing this acronym from us every now and then). #1 Job interviews (we’ll get to that in another article), and  #2 meeting your boyfriend’s family for the first time. Showing your true style is another way of being yourself, but if you’re meeting the family for the first time, there’s nothing wrong with being a little bit more conservative. This doesn’t mean cardigan and pearls, but make sure your dress or skirt grazes a couple inches below your fingertips. And no need to go too crazy with make up or statement jewelry, because we don’t need anything to distract from your sparkling personality.

Treat him with RESPECT: Sometimes when you are comfortable in a relationship, you tend to speak loosely and give your significant other tough love. In this case, it may be a good idea not to put him down (even if it's jokingly), hit him (what can I say, sometimes us girls can be bullies), or join in TOO much when his siblings or parents are teasing him. Remember that you are around people that ultimately will always be on HIS side, so the more you can show them that you are into him, the more they will approve of you, AND your relationship. And although “approval” is not necessary, it will make everyone’s life easier (especially yours).

And even after you follow this list of rules and it still turns out to be a complete disaster (very unlikely), you have to put things into perspective and realize that you are dating HIM not his family.  Send an update and let us know how it went. We look forward to writing an article in response to “My boyfriend’s family loves me more than they do him, what should I do???”.

Gobble gobble!
xo - m

Q: Should I bring a gift for my BF's mom on Thanksgiving since she's hosting dinner at her house?

Dating, LifeJen

31, Salt Lake City UT

A: Whether you're meeting your BF's mom for the first time, or coming over for a more formal dinner than normal, it's always best to bring something! My rule of thumb is to never show up to a party empty handed: and as cute as your hand bag is, that doesn't count ;)

Here are a few suggestions on what to bring:

  • Food - Thanksgiving is a time for family, sharing, and eating; so whether it's a side or dessert, contributing to this epic feast is always a good idea! Have a recipe you're dying to try or want to impress with a family favorite? Here's your chance. If you're in need of ideas on what to make, contact your friend Pinterest who never disappoints (here's a favorite from good ol' Martha) Don't have time to cook? Pick up dessert from your favorite bakery or local grocery store.
  • Beverage - If cooking really isn't your thing, who's ever met a free drink they didn't love?  Find out if she's a wine drinker; and bring her favorite, or if she really doesn't drink alcohol (gasp) sparkling cider is always a good choice too, especially if there will be kids at the party.
  • Flowers - are always a good idea. Sunflowers are a great Fall flower, are inexpensive, and actually symbolize happiness! Not only will they brighten her day, other guests will benefit from a pretty centerpiece too. Want to go a step further? Stop by your local craft store and grab a pretty vase to throw those fresh blooms in. You've just taken thoughtful to the next level.

And if all else fails, offer to take her Black Friday shopping if you're up for the challenge. The best gift, is the gift of time which doesn't cost a dime, but is so much more meaningful. If you can swing it, it's a sure way to make her smile, and allow your BF to sleep in for a few extra hours ;)

Cheers to extra brownie points…as if you needed anymore... and a Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

http://www.marthastewart.com/1038827/bruleed-pumpkin-pie

Q: Am I Crazy to Date a Mama's Boy

Dating, Love + DatingJen

I'm dating this guy who I thought was pretty much perfect - except for the fact that he's a massive mama's boy. His mom is always in our business, and is crazy and manipulative. No one will ever be good enough for her little boy. I can't deal with it anymore. Any last ditch advice before I kick his ass to the curb? 

A. There is something truly creepy about a mama's boy. Like. Truly creepy. Besides conjuring up some weird oedipus complex reference, there is also the blatant truth that no woman wants to (or should) play second fiddle to some dude's crazy overbearing mom. But before you send him on his way, make sure you're not confusing a mama's boy for just someone who is nice to his mom. A man who treats his mother with kindness and respect is something to be appreciated and typically it's a good sign of how he'll treat you. But, like most things with men, there is a fine line between normal & creepy.  

Ladies, appreciate a good man! (before it's too late)

Dating, Love + DatingJen

With so many stupid, lying, want-to-be players out there it's sometimes hard to appreciate a good man when you see one. For every dude that thinks it's acceptable to wear Ed Hardy, there's another man who will open the door for you. For every player that slept with your friend, there's a great man who will remember your favorite flowers. It's the reality of the world - there's good and evil, happy and sad, amazing and douchey. But ladies, when you find that perfect man who isn't going to "Tiger Woods" it up all over town - appreciate him. 

Change the Scenario, Baby.

Dating, Love + DatingJen

The Short Story: If you constantly find yourself in bad relationships, it's time to change how you're doing things.

Stop whining about not finding a great guy when all you do is date jerks and losers. If you like him because he's mean to you, there's a problem. A rather significant one at that.

Relationship Purgatory: "Why Won't He Commit?"

Dating, Relationships, Single LifeJenComment

Q: I've been dating the same guy for the past three months. It feels like we're in a committed relationship, but haven't made it "official" yet with titles. Anytime I try to bring the subject up he either jokes it off or changes the topic.  I feel like I'm in freaking high school asking him to be boyfriend/girlfriend, but I don't want to waste my time with someone who's not going to commit. PLEASE HELP ME!! What's his problem? Or am I rushing into this?